My surgery is 5 days away.... double mastecomy. Nervous? yep. Looking forward to it? Nope.. Looking forward to getting this nasty cancer OUT of my body... YES!!!!!
My surgery is this Friday, June 1st @ 8:30 a.m. I will prob. be in the hospital for 3 days, then from what I hear it's pretty rough for the first week, but then the recovery starts...
I am also praying for "clear margins" around the cancer so I won't have to do radiation therapy... which is every day, 5 days a week for 6 weeks (not fun).
I love you all... and I LOVE the support and prayers.
This has been a LOOOOOOOOOOOng 9 months of our lives......we are all ready for healing and a cancer free existance!!!
Blessings to you today,
:) Shanda :)
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Thursday, May 24, 2007
HOME FINALLY!!!!
I was in the hospital for 20 days straight...2 in the ICU where they wanted to do a spinal tap because they thought I had menengitis. I was on so many drugs I kept refusing the spinal tap, and needless to say the ICU staff did not like me very much. I am so thankful and glad to be home. I am very weak, and I have to force myself to eat and drink. I prob. only eat about 400 calories a day. I have lost 15lbs in 20 days and I feel so sick. I honestly feel sicker now then when I was going through chemo. My surgery has been cancelled twice because I am just so weak, so the new date is June 1st. My mom will be coming down to help and I know I have help through my friends and church family.
I am ready for this trial/battle to end. I had a "panic attack" yesterday and almost had to call 911. I am so sick and tired and overwhelemed. Three of my pastor's from my church came over to anoint me with oil and prayed over me for God's healing. It's been 8 months now, and it looks like I have 3-5 more months to go. I am just so tired, in spirit and soul and health.
Please pray for my appitite to increase, and for my children to have peace, they have been very upset these last few weeks, and with my surgery next week, in their eyes everytime I go into the hospital I stay forever.
I love you all!!
:) Shanda :)
I am ready for this trial/battle to end. I had a "panic attack" yesterday and almost had to call 911. I am so sick and tired and overwhelemed. Three of my pastor's from my church came over to anoint me with oil and prayed over me for God's healing. It's been 8 months now, and it looks like I have 3-5 more months to go. I am just so tired, in spirit and soul and health.
Please pray for my appitite to increase, and for my children to have peace, they have been very upset these last few weeks, and with my surgery next week, in their eyes everytime I go into the hospital I stay forever.
I love you all!!
:) Shanda :)
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
SURGERY!!!!!
I met with my plastic surgeon today.... the TRAM surgery (tummy tuck and they reconstruct with your stomach muscles and "tissue" (fat) from your stomach.... I am not eligable for a double because I don't have enough tissue... I guess I'm not as fat as I think I am... well, my fat is nice and evenly distrubuted throughout my body. So, I really did not want them, but I will be getting silicone implants. They put in "tissue expanders" at the time of my double mastectomy (the week of May 14th hopefully) and then after a few weeks with dranage tubes, I go into the offfice every week and get "expanded" until I reach the desired size that I want to be, and then I will have another out-patient surgery where they will put the implants in. So.. my children will not be going to Boston, I will just have to have help for a week or two. In the long run, I think this is the best option. I was kinda worried about the surgery removing my entire stomach muscle, which could really effect my very active lifestyle with my business and traveling etc.. God is good, I and many others have been praying about this surgery and decision. I'll let you know as soon as I get an exact date (They are suppossed to call me this afternoon).
God is good!! All the time!!!
God is good!! All the time!!!
Monday, April 23, 2007
My hair
My hair is starting to grow back... it's very very short, and feels like soft baby hair, or like a little baby chick. It's brown.. but I detected a big white patch yesterday.. so we shall see! I went to a really neat event @ Gilda's club on Sat. they had a special day for young survivor's (in your 20's and 30's) and they featured a really neat guy... www.cancerclimber.org check it out. They sponser "adventure event's" for cancer survivors. I think it would be cool for my children and I to bike accross the country in 5 years :) :). They would be 11-15 then so I think they could handle it. They love riding their bikes. I have been doing a lot of biking because I am trying to lose the 20 lbs. I gained from all the steriods from chemo. I bike between 2-4 miles every day, or every other day. If I don't bike, I try to walk 2-3 miles. Of course, I do have my days where I just lay around and do nothing, but I try not to eat everything in the house (that's what the steriods do, they make me want to eat everything in a 5 mile radius!!!)
I meet with my plastic surgeon tommorow. I have decided to do a double mast. and just get them both removed so I don't have to worry about checking the healthy breast all the time, I do it now "I think I feel something, no I don't.. yes I do!!!" plus the reconstruction will just look better if I do both, and I have insurance now, so I just decided it would be the best. U of M has been recommending a double ever since the beginning because of my age, and the aggressiveness of the cancer. I am not sure what kind of reconstruction. I want to do the immediate "TRAM" but I don't know if my plastic surgeon will do that, because last time I met with him I just wanted one done, and he said in passing "I would not do a double on you" and I did not question it, because at that time I just wanted a single. So I meet with him tommorow, I might just have to do implants, which I really am not too thrilled about, but I also heard that with the TRAM that it can affect your stomach severly where you can't lift a lot, or you will get a hernia etc.. and with my business, and my children, and being single, I lift a lot all the time. So I guess we will see tommorow! Also, I should have a surgery date, hopefully the week of May 21.
Things are going well, we are REALLY enjoying the great warm weather we are having! I love spring and summer, they are my favorites :).
Also, after I know my surgery date, I will probally send in our application for "Extreme Make-over Home Edition" so that will be cool, I am sure they will call us in a week or two if they are interested in helping us :) :) and that would just be AMAZING!!
:) Blessings :) Shanda
I meet with my plastic surgeon tommorow. I have decided to do a double mast. and just get them both removed so I don't have to worry about checking the healthy breast all the time, I do it now "I think I feel something, no I don't.. yes I do!!!" plus the reconstruction will just look better if I do both, and I have insurance now, so I just decided it would be the best. U of M has been recommending a double ever since the beginning because of my age, and the aggressiveness of the cancer. I am not sure what kind of reconstruction. I want to do the immediate "TRAM" but I don't know if my plastic surgeon will do that, because last time I met with him I just wanted one done, and he said in passing "I would not do a double on you" and I did not question it, because at that time I just wanted a single. So I meet with him tommorow, I might just have to do implants, which I really am not too thrilled about, but I also heard that with the TRAM that it can affect your stomach severly where you can't lift a lot, or you will get a hernia etc.. and with my business, and my children, and being single, I lift a lot all the time. So I guess we will see tommorow! Also, I should have a surgery date, hopefully the week of May 21.
Things are going well, we are REALLY enjoying the great warm weather we are having! I love spring and summer, they are my favorites :).
Also, after I know my surgery date, I will probally send in our application for "Extreme Make-over Home Edition" so that will be cool, I am sure they will call us in a week or two if they are interested in helping us :) :) and that would just be AMAZING!!
:) Blessings :) Shanda
My hair
My hair is starting to grow back... it's very very short, and feels like soft baby hair, or like a little baby chick. It's brown.. but I detected a big white patch yesterday.. so we shall see! I went to a really neat event @ Gilda's club on Sat. they had a special day for young survivor's (in your 20's and 30's) and they featured a really neat guy... www.cancerclimber.org check it out. They sponser "adventure event's" for cancer survivors. I think it would be cool for my children and I to bike accross the country in 5 years :) :). They would be 11-15 then so I think they could handle it. They love riding their bikes. I have been doing a lot of biking because I am trying to lose the 20 lbs. I gained from all the steriods from chemo. I bike between 2-4 miles every day, or every other day. If I don't bike, I try to walk 2-3 miles. Of course, I do have my days where I just lay around and do nothing, but I try not to eat everything in the house (that's what the steriods do, they make me want to eat everything in a 5 mile radius!!!)
I meet with my plastic surgeon tommorow. I have decided to do a double mast. and just get them both removed so I don't have to worry about checking the healthy breast all the time, I do it now "I think I feel something, no I don't.. yes I do!!!" plus the reconstruction will just look better if I do both, and I have insurance now, so I just decided it would be the best. U of M has been recommending a double ever since the beginning because of my age, and the aggressiveness of the cancer. I am not sure what kind of reconstruction. I want to do the immediate "TRAM" but I don't know if my plastic surgeon will do that, because last time I met with him I just wanted one done, and he said in passing "I would not do a double on you" and I did not question it, because at that time I just wanted a single. So I meet with him tommorow, I might just have to do implants, which I really am not too thrilled about, but I also heard that with the TRAM that it can affect your stomach severly where you can't lift a lot, or you will get a hernia etc.. and with my business, and my children, and being single, I lift a lot all the time. So I guess we will see tommorow! Also, I should have a surgery date, hopefully the week of May 21.
Things are going well, we are REALLY enjoying the great warm weather we are having! I love spring and summer, they are my favorites :).
Also, after I know my surgery date, I will probally send in our application for "Extreme Make-over Home Edition" so that will be cool, I am sure they will call us in a week or two if they are interested in helping us :) :) and that would just be AMAZING!!
:) Blessings :) Shanda
I meet with my plastic surgeon tommorow. I have decided to do a double mast. and just get them both removed so I don't have to worry about checking the healthy breast all the time, I do it now "I think I feel something, no I don't.. yes I do!!!" plus the reconstruction will just look better if I do both, and I have insurance now, so I just decided it would be the best. U of M has been recommending a double ever since the beginning because of my age, and the aggressiveness of the cancer. I am not sure what kind of reconstruction. I want to do the immediate "TRAM" but I don't know if my plastic surgeon will do that, because last time I met with him I just wanted one done, and he said in passing "I would not do a double on you" and I did not question it, because at that time I just wanted a single. So I meet with him tommorow, I might just have to do implants, which I really am not too thrilled about, but I also heard that with the TRAM that it can affect your stomach severly where you can't lift a lot, or you will get a hernia etc.. and with my business, and my children, and being single, I lift a lot all the time. So I guess we will see tommorow! Also, I should have a surgery date, hopefully the week of May 21.
Things are going well, we are REALLY enjoying the great warm weather we are having! I love spring and summer, they are my favorites :).
Also, after I know my surgery date, I will probally send in our application for "Extreme Make-over Home Edition" so that will be cool, I am sure they will call us in a week or two if they are interested in helping us :) :) and that would just be AMAZING!!
:) Blessings :) Shanda
Monday, April 16, 2007
Enjoying Spring
I have been really busy latley.... enjoying spring :). My children and I were able to walk up to church yesterday and today we rode our bikes up to the library :). I am trying to exercise as much as possible to get into the best shape I can before my surgery so my recovery will go smoother. I met with a radiologist today, I am praying to God that I don't have to do radiation. They will know more when they do the surgery and actually open me up and see more of what is going on in there. I also met with my primary care Dr. today because I am not sleeping well again. He gave me some different stuff, hopefully it will work because I am really sick of not being able to sleep, it turns me into a mental case.. I cry over anything!!!!
I met with my breast surgeon this Wed. and then with the plastic surgeon I think on the 24th. I should have a date here soon. Not sure about the single or double.. I keep going back and forth.. so much to decide!!!
God is good :), he continues to bless.
Our application for Extreme Makeover Home Edition is almost completed, and even though the stories featured the last few weeks are far more serious and moving compared to ours, you never know!!! I will let you know when I send in our application and give you the mailing address if you want to send in a letter on our behalf after I send in our application!
God Bless you today :) Shanda :)
I met with my breast surgeon this Wed. and then with the plastic surgeon I think on the 24th. I should have a date here soon. Not sure about the single or double.. I keep going back and forth.. so much to decide!!!
God is good :), he continues to bless.
Our application for Extreme Makeover Home Edition is almost completed, and even though the stories featured the last few weeks are far more serious and moving compared to ours, you never know!!! I will let you know when I send in our application and give you the mailing address if you want to send in a letter on our behalf after I send in our application!
God Bless you today :) Shanda :)
Saturday, April 7, 2007
Cool Quotes :)
I always like to read quotes from inspiring people, I ran across these few the last few weeks:
"I WANTED A PERFECT ENDING. NOW I'VE LEARNED THE HARD WAY, THAT SOME POEMS DON'T RHYME, AND SOME STORIES DON'T HAVE A CLEAR BEGINNIING, MIDDLE, AND END. LIFE IS ABOUT NOT KNOWING, HAVING TO CHANGE, TAKING THE MOMENT AND MAKING THE BEST OF IT, WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT." Gilda Radner
"DO MORE THAN EXIST, LIVE.
DO MORE THAN TOUCH, FEEL.
DO MORE THAN LOOK, OBSERVE.
DO MORE THAN READ, ABSORB.
DO MORE THAN HEAR, LISTEN.
DO MORE THAN THINK, PONDER.
DO MORE THAN TALK, SAY SOMETHING." John H. Rhoades
"ASK AND IT WILL BE GIVEN TO YOU" Matt. 7:7a JESUS CHRIST
I hope you are enjoying "Spring".. it's freezing here and there is about an inch of snow on the ground :) woo hoo!!!
Happy Resurection Sunday to all my believer friends out there!!!
:) Blessings :)
"I WANTED A PERFECT ENDING. NOW I'VE LEARNED THE HARD WAY, THAT SOME POEMS DON'T RHYME, AND SOME STORIES DON'T HAVE A CLEAR BEGINNIING, MIDDLE, AND END. LIFE IS ABOUT NOT KNOWING, HAVING TO CHANGE, TAKING THE MOMENT AND MAKING THE BEST OF IT, WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT." Gilda Radner
"DO MORE THAN EXIST, LIVE.
DO MORE THAN TOUCH, FEEL.
DO MORE THAN LOOK, OBSERVE.
DO MORE THAN READ, ABSORB.
DO MORE THAN HEAR, LISTEN.
DO MORE THAN THINK, PONDER.
DO MORE THAN TALK, SAY SOMETHING." John H. Rhoades
"ASK AND IT WILL BE GIVEN TO YOU" Matt. 7:7a JESUS CHRIST
I hope you are enjoying "Spring".. it's freezing here and there is about an inch of snow on the ground :) woo hoo!!!
Happy Resurection Sunday to all my believer friends out there!!!
:) Blessings :)
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