Complete JOY!! I'm home with my four amazing blessings :) :) :) :)
God is good!!!
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
WOW!!!
I attend a H U G E church.. the website is www.hisfaith.net you can listen to sermons online and also see many of the services on Sat/Sun live. Last night was the "kick off night" for a new ministry called WOW (Women of the Word). It was amazing. A packed house of course, and our Pastor was the guest speaker. He talked about when we WOW God through our obedience, faith and trust that he WOW's us in return. And a WOW from God is always something amazing :).
I was encouraged very much, as it's been a difficult few months I know that God has amazing things in store for my life. I am looking forward to him WOWing me :) :).
I continue to plug away... I am resting lots, I have chemo tommorow and also another ultra sound to see the tumor size.
Please pray for me to get some solid answers on surgery. I am still "on the fence" regarding a double or single masectomy and also the reconstruction options etc...
Blessings to you today :) Shanda :)
I was encouraged very much, as it's been a difficult few months I know that God has amazing things in store for my life. I am looking forward to him WOWing me :) :).
I continue to plug away... I am resting lots, I have chemo tommorow and also another ultra sound to see the tumor size.
Please pray for me to get some solid answers on surgery. I am still "on the fence" regarding a double or single masectomy and also the reconstruction options etc...
Blessings to you today :) Shanda :)
Friday, February 23, 2007
God's Love
I'm doing great after my chemo yesterday.. for some strange reason...I actually get "energized" when I get chemo... when I was in the hospital and had chemo I was going crazy full of energy.. I was doing like a mini-stand-up-comedy routine at the nurses station... it was weird.
And I stayed up until like 4 am last night.. and I made a million CD's for friends and family to sort of share my heart and soul through music how I have felt this last month.
God is good.. I am home with my children, I feel good, my cuboards are bursing with food and I am sleeping every night!! Home.. what a joyful place to be :)
Home is where the heart is!!!!! :) Shanda :)
And I stayed up until like 4 am last night.. and I made a million CD's for friends and family to sort of share my heart and soul through music how I have felt this last month.
God is good.. I am home with my children, I feel good, my cuboards are bursing with food and I am sleeping every night!! Home.. what a joyful place to be :)
Home is where the heart is!!!!! :) Shanda :)
Thursday, February 22, 2007
02-22-07
My new port actually feels FINE..... It's on the other side of my chest and it does not feel like the other one did at all....the other one bothered me from day one. I hope and pray that this one works well for the remaing 3 months of chemo.
Chemo went well... I feel fine....getting organized and cleaning around the house...today I learned about monosodium glutamate (MSG)... which was in pretty much 1/2 of my food that I had in my house...also high fructose corn syrup and anything hydogeated is BAD NEWS... so my 5 1/2 children and I cleaned out all of the food containing all of the crap... and I am focusing on fresh fruits and veggies...healthy smoothies.. lots of WATER... and leaning more and more about all the CRAP that we Americans digest on a daily basis.... I don't want to die of obesity.. cancer, heart disease or diabetes.... all of which what we eat has a HUGE impact on our health.
I have a friend that is way into health and supplements etc... so she is helping me learn and giving me lots of great supplements to help my immune system and be healthy (all approved by my oncologist)
Well, I Have lots of energy and I am making a CD of music for my friends and family.. so I better get to it before I am off to bed...
:) Blessings :) Shanda
Chemo went well... I feel fine....getting organized and cleaning around the house...today I learned about monosodium glutamate (MSG)... which was in pretty much 1/2 of my food that I had in my house...also high fructose corn syrup and anything hydogeated is BAD NEWS... so my 5 1/2 children and I cleaned out all of the food containing all of the crap... and I am focusing on fresh fruits and veggies...healthy smoothies.. lots of WATER... and leaning more and more about all the CRAP that we Americans digest on a daily basis.... I don't want to die of obesity.. cancer, heart disease or diabetes.... all of which what we eat has a HUGE impact on our health.
I have a friend that is way into health and supplements etc... so she is helping me learn and giving me lots of great supplements to help my immune system and be healthy (all approved by my oncologist)
Well, I Have lots of energy and I am making a CD of music for my friends and family.. so I better get to it before I am off to bed...
:) Blessings :) Shanda
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Love
Love... what does that mean to you? That 4 letter word that is way over used in our world. The best love in the world I have experienced is the undying love of Jesus. He has blessed me, taken care of me and sent many special people into my life to help me in this journey called cancer.
I don't hate very many things in life. Of course I hate cruelty, injustace, racism etc... but I officially hate disease and illness. I hate spending most of my day in bed.... so tired I can't get up. For some odd reason, I think I had more energy when I was in the hospital. I can't seem to sleep enough. I think my body is making up for 3 weeks with low sleep.
I start chemo again on thursday. It's a new chemo drug (new to me). I finished up my 4 rounds of A/C, now I am scheduled for 12 weeks of Taxol.
Prayer requests: That my new port stays infection free for 3 months so I can finish chemo and that I stay strong!!! Also, I need to make a decision about a single or double mastectomy. There are just some decisions that seem unfair in life.
:) Blessings :) Shanda
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Home at Last!!!!
I am home... in comfy p.j's and getting ready to eat a yummy dinner!! Bye-bye 4G! I was in the hospital for 19 days total. My surgery went well yesterday, I am in pain but that is expected. I will write more later... I need to go rest :) Blessings :) Shanda
Thursday, February 15, 2007
17 loooooooooooooooooong days
I am still in the hospital... 17 days now!! Hopefully I will be going home in the next 4. I have surgery tommorow (2-16-07) to place another port in my chest.. on the other side (the cancer side). They don't like to do that, but they have no option really. I lost my IV last night while sleeping and it took a special IV nurse 5 pokes to get an IV in me.. I literally look like an IV drug user... my arm is full of holes and all bruised.. see, then can only use my right arm due to the fact that I had lymph nodes removed on the left. ugh..
Anyway, my friend from Boston came for 3 days, which turned into 6 due to the snow storm here and out east (she lives in Boston). So that has been nice, and it's cool that she can be here for my surgery!!!!!
I am doing well.. THANKS so much for all the prayers!! I am tired.. but who sleeps in a hospital???
More later :)
luv, :) Shanda :)
Anyway, my friend from Boston came for 3 days, which turned into 6 due to the snow storm here and out east (she lives in Boston). So that has been nice, and it's cool that she can be here for my surgery!!!!!
I am doing well.. THANKS so much for all the prayers!! I am tired.. but who sleeps in a hospital???
More later :)
luv, :) Shanda :)
Saturday, February 10, 2007
13 looooooong days
For those of you who don't know..... I am back in the hospital. I have been since Wednesday. Yes.. I lasted a short 48 hrs. at home. I slept most of the time, but I was burning up with fever. It has gone as high as 102. which really does not sound that terribly bad.. but when you have cancer, 102 can be deadly. So deadly that I was pretty scared the other day. I was told that my infection has spread to my blood. Instead of being a local infection at my port site, the little bacterial buggers have gotten into my blood stream. The bacteria could attack any organ in my body. I was told that I could go into heart failure and die. They ordered 2 pints of blood for immediate transfusions if my hemoglobin dropped anymore (I have not had to have any transfusions so far) I am considered "septic" which can be serious, and even deadly. I felt my body fight these last few days, I felt my organs on fire and I cried because I can not be home, with my children. I cried hard... for the first time since I found the lump, and since I was first diganosed. I am such a "do-er".. tell me what needs to be done, and I will DO IT. I don't feel like I am accomplishing much sitting in a hospital bed for 13 of the last 15 days. I miss my bed.. I miss my children... I miss my life.
I officially feel like I am "cancer patient" now. I am officially sick.. and I HATE it. I know that God loves me so much, and he has amazing things planned for my life. I opened a card today that said the following amaing words:
Our lives are not like ships being tossed helplessly upon the rough seas of life. Jesus is the Lord over every circumstance we face. He is using each difficulty and trial to work out His purposes in our lives- to show us His power, to strengthen our fiath, to purify our hearts, to deepen our joy. In His perfect time He will speak His Word over our rough seas, and all will be calm again. ---Roy Lessin
The inside read:
The Lord is in control of all that you are facing, and He will keep you steady through the storm. May his sure and certain Word Calm Your Heart Today...
Today in my time reading God's word the following verse JUMPED out at me:
Proverbs 10:20 "The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value"
I was visited by 10 "righteous" brothers and sisters today, and I am expecting more tommorow :)!!!!
I had a dream a few nights ago... my younger brother Adam, who has been suffering from chronic pain from Q fever for the last few years and were in the hospital at the same time, we were in ajoining rooms and we were racing down the hallways's with our IV poles like little children. Strange thing happened.. we arent' in ajoining rooms... but my brother is 3 floors below me, sitting in a hospital bed with possible heart problems. Please remember Adam in prayer, pray for answers and relief to his pain. I think both he and I dream about the days when we "get our lives back" our healthy, worry free days.. so we can just L I V E !!!!
I still have a fever.. it's not as high, but it's still there. My best friend since childhood Tonya is flying in from Boston today to spend 3 days with me. My parents are here from up north. I hope and pray that I can go home this week and I can continue my chemotherapy (which has been stopped due to my infection).
Thank you for your continued love, support and prayers.
I long for the day that all is calm again
:) Shanda :)
I officially feel like I am "cancer patient" now. I am officially sick.. and I HATE it. I know that God loves me so much, and he has amazing things planned for my life. I opened a card today that said the following amaing words:
Our lives are not like ships being tossed helplessly upon the rough seas of life. Jesus is the Lord over every circumstance we face. He is using each difficulty and trial to work out His purposes in our lives- to show us His power, to strengthen our fiath, to purify our hearts, to deepen our joy. In His perfect time He will speak His Word over our rough seas, and all will be calm again. ---Roy Lessin
The inside read:
The Lord is in control of all that you are facing, and He will keep you steady through the storm. May his sure and certain Word Calm Your Heart Today...
Today in my time reading God's word the following verse JUMPED out at me:
Proverbs 10:20 "The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value"
I was visited by 10 "righteous" brothers and sisters today, and I am expecting more tommorow :)!!!!
I had a dream a few nights ago... my younger brother Adam, who has been suffering from chronic pain from Q fever for the last few years and were in the hospital at the same time, we were in ajoining rooms and we were racing down the hallways's with our IV poles like little children. Strange thing happened.. we arent' in ajoining rooms... but my brother is 3 floors below me, sitting in a hospital bed with possible heart problems. Please remember Adam in prayer, pray for answers and relief to his pain. I think both he and I dream about the days when we "get our lives back" our healthy, worry free days.. so we can just L I V E !!!!
I still have a fever.. it's not as high, but it's still there. My best friend since childhood Tonya is flying in from Boston today to spend 3 days with me. My parents are here from up north. I hope and pray that I can go home this week and I can continue my chemotherapy (which has been stopped due to my infection).
Thank you for your continued love, support and prayers.
I long for the day that all is calm again
:) Shanda :)
13 looooooong days
For those of you who don't know..... I am back in the hospital. I have been since Wednesday. Yes.. I lasted a short 48 hrs. at home. I slept most of the time, but I was burning up with fever. It has gone as high as 102. which really does not sound that terribly bad.. but when you have cancer, 102 can be deadly. So deadly that I was pretty scared the other day. I was told that my infection has spread to my blood. Instead of being a local infection at my port site, the little bacterial buggers have gotten into my blood stream. The bacteria could attack any organ in my body. I was told that I could go into heart failure and die. They ordered 2 pints of blood for immediate transfusions if my hemoglobin dropped anymore (I have not had to have any transfusions so far) I am considered "septic" which can be serious, and even deadly. I felt my body fight these last few days, I felt my organs on fire and I cried because I can not be home, with my children. I cried hard... for the first time since I found the lump, and since I was first diganosed. I am such a "do-er".. tell me what needs to be done, and I will DO IT. I don't feel like I am accomplishing much sitting in a hospital bed for 13 of the last 15 days. I miss my bed.. I miss my children... I miss my life.
I officially feel like I am "cancer patient" now. I am officially sick.. and I HATE it. I know that God loves me so much, and he has amazing things planned for my life. I opened a card today that said the following amaing words:
Our lives are not like ships being tossed helplessly upon the rough seas of life. Jesus is the Lord over every circumstance we face. He is using each difficulty and trial to work out His purposes in our lives- to show us His power, to strengthen our fiath, to purify our hearts, to deepen our joy. In His perfect time He will speak His Word over our rough seas, and all will be calm again. ---Roy Lessin
The inside read:
The Lord is in control of all that you are facing, and He will keep you steady through the storm. May his sure and certain Word Calm Your Heart Today...
Today in my time reading God's word the following verse JUMPED out at me:
Proverbs 10:20 "The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value"
I was visited by 10 "righteous" brothers and sisters today, and I am expecting more tommorow :)!!!!
I had a dream a few nights ago... my younger brother Adam, who has been suffering from chronic pain from Q fever for the last few years and were in the hospital at the same time, we were in ajoining rooms and we were racing down the hallways's with our IV poles like little children. Strange thing happened.. we arent' in ajoining rooms... but my brother is 3 floors below me, sitting in a hospital bed with possible heart problems. Please remember Adam in prayer, pray for answers and relief to his pain. I think both he and I dream about the days when we "get our lives back" our healthy, worry free days.. so we can just L I V E !!!!
I still have a fever.. it's not as high, but it's still there. My best friend since childhood Tonya is flying in from Boston today to spend 3 days with me. My parents are here from up north. I hope and pray that I can go home this week and I can continue my chemotherapy (which has been stopped due to my infection).
Thank you for your continued love, support and prayers.
I long for the day that all is calm again
:) Shanda :)
I officially feel like I am "cancer patient" now. I am officially sick.. and I HATE it. I know that God loves me so much, and he has amazing things planned for my life. I opened a card today that said the following amaing words:
Our lives are not like ships being tossed helplessly upon the rough seas of life. Jesus is the Lord over every circumstance we face. He is using each difficulty and trial to work out His purposes in our lives- to show us His power, to strengthen our fiath, to purify our hearts, to deepen our joy. In His perfect time He will speak His Word over our rough seas, and all will be calm again. ---Roy Lessin
The inside read:
The Lord is in control of all that you are facing, and He will keep you steady through the storm. May his sure and certain Word Calm Your Heart Today...
Today in my time reading God's word the following verse JUMPED out at me:
Proverbs 10:20 "The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value"
I was visited by 10 "righteous" brothers and sisters today, and I am expecting more tommorow :)!!!!
I had a dream a few nights ago... my younger brother Adam, who has been suffering from chronic pain from Q fever for the last few years and were in the hospital at the same time, we were in ajoining rooms and we were racing down the hallways's with our IV poles like little children. Strange thing happened.. we arent' in ajoining rooms... but my brother is 3 floors below me, sitting in a hospital bed with possible heart problems. Please remember Adam in prayer, pray for answers and relief to his pain. I think both he and I dream about the days when we "get our lives back" our healthy, worry free days.. so we can just L I V E !!!!
I still have a fever.. it's not as high, but it's still there. My best friend since childhood Tonya is flying in from Boston today to spend 3 days with me. My parents are here from up north. I hope and pray that I can go home this week and I can continue my chemotherapy (which has been stopped due to my infection).
Thank you for your continued love, support and prayers.
I long for the day that all is calm again
:) Shanda :)
13 looooooong days
For those of you who don't know..... I am back in the hospital. I have been since Wednesday. Yes.. I lasted a short 48 hrs. at home. I slept most of the time, but I was burning up with fever. It has gone as high as 102. which really does not sound that terribly bad.. but when you have cancer, 102 can be deadly. So deadly that I was pretty scared the other day. I was told that my infection has spread to my blood. Instead of being a local infection at my port site, the little bacterial buggers have gotten into my blood stream. The bacteria could attack any organ in my body. I was told that I could go into heart failure and die. They ordered 2 pints of blood for immediate transfusions if my hemoglobin dropped anymore (I have not had to have any transfusions so far) I am considered "septic" which can be serious, and even deadly. I felt my body fight these last few days, I felt my organs on fire and I cried because I can not be home, with my children. I cried hard... for the first time since I found the lump, and since I was first diganosed. I am such a "do-er".. tell me what needs to be done, and I will DO IT. I don't feel like I am accomplishing much sitting in a hospital bed for 13 of the last 15 days. I miss my bed.. I miss my children... I miss my life.
I officially feel like I am "cancer patient" now. I am officially sick.. and I HATE it. I know that God loves me so much, and he has amazing things planned for my life. I opened a card today that said the following amaing words:
Our lives are not like ships being tossed helplessly upon the rough seas of life. Jesus is the Lord over every circumstance we face. He is using each difficulty and trial to work out His purposes in our lives- to show us His power, to strengthen our fiath, to purify our hearts, to deepen our joy. In His perfect time He will speak His Word over our rough seas, and all will be calm again. ---Roy Lessin
The inside read:
The Lord is in control of all that you are facing, and He will keep you steady through the storm. May his sure and certain Word Calm Your Heart Today...
Today in my time reading God's word the following verse JUMPED out at me:
Proverbs 10:20 "The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value"
I was visited by 10 "righteous" brothers and sisters today, and I am expecting more tommorow :)!!!!
I had a dream a few nights ago... my younger brother Adam, who has been suffering from chronic pain from Q fever for the last few years and were in the hospital at the same time, we were in ajoining rooms and we were racing down the hallways's with our IV poles like little children. Strange thing happened.. we arent' in ajoining rooms... but my brother is 3 floors below me, sitting in a hospital bed with possible heart problems. Please remember Adam in prayer, pray for answers and relief to his pain. I think both he and I dream about the days when we "get our lives back" our healthy, worry free days.. so we can just L I V E !!!!
I still have a fever.. it's not as high, but it's still there. My best friend since childhood Tonya is flying in from Boston today to spend 3 days with me. My parents are here from up north. I hope and pray that I can go home this week and I can continue my chemotherapy (which has been stopped due to my infection).
Thank you for your continued love, support and prayers.
I long for the day that all is calm again
:) Shanda :)
I officially feel like I am "cancer patient" now. I am officially sick.. and I HATE it. I know that God loves me so much, and he has amazing things planned for my life. I opened a card today that said the following amaing words:
Our lives are not like ships being tossed helplessly upon the rough seas of life. Jesus is the Lord over every circumstance we face. He is using each difficulty and trial to work out His purposes in our lives- to show us His power, to strengthen our fiath, to purify our hearts, to deepen our joy. In His perfect time He will speak His Word over our rough seas, and all will be calm again. ---Roy Lessin
The inside read:
The Lord is in control of all that you are facing, and He will keep you steady through the storm. May his sure and certain Word Calm Your Heart Today...
Today in my time reading God's word the following verse JUMPED out at me:
Proverbs 10:20 "The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value"
I was visited by 10 "righteous" brothers and sisters today, and I am expecting more tommorow :)!!!!
I had a dream a few nights ago... my younger brother Adam, who has been suffering from chronic pain from Q fever for the last few years and were in the hospital at the same time, we were in ajoining rooms and we were racing down the hallways's with our IV poles like little children. Strange thing happened.. we arent' in ajoining rooms... but my brother is 3 floors below me, sitting in a hospital bed with possible heart problems. Please remember Adam in prayer, pray for answers and relief to his pain. I think both he and I dream about the days when we "get our lives back" our healthy, worry free days.. so we can just L I V E !!!!
I still have a fever.. it's not as high, but it's still there. My best friend since childhood Tonya is flying in from Boston today to spend 3 days with me. My parents are here from up north. I hope and pray that I can go home this week and I can continue my chemotherapy (which has been stopped due to my infection).
Thank you for your continued love, support and prayers.
I long for the day that all is calm again
:) Shanda :)
Friday, February 2, 2007
02-02-07
Hey!!! I have been in the hospital all week... keep up those prayers!!! I am doing much better today.. I had a nasty port infection which led to a staff infection, then my veins started shutting down... then I got a picc line, and now I have a blood clot!!! Isn't it great that God can handle all of that while I laugh my butt off with the night staff :) :) yep.. they are letting my use the computer :) luv you! :) Shanda :)
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