Come on Spring!!!

What sad news about Elizabeth Edwards (John Kerry's wife) this week... definatly felt through out the entire breast cancer community. The worst news you want to hear.. not only is it "back" it's spread to the bones!!!. I have been lifiting up her and her young children 6 & 8 in prayer all week! May she seeek God's face and his will in her life.

Cancer is such a crazy place to be. My hair is starting to grow back.. I basically have very dark "peach-fuzz" going on.. but my hair grows very fast so hopefully before long I can stop covering my head everywhere I go.

My tumor is officially GONE! It has responded so well to the chemo that it is no longer detectable inside my body!! Woo hoo!! I still have 7 scheduled chemo's left UGH!!

I will have surgery.. I am now leaning more towards just a single masectomy with the "tummy-tuck" procedure (If ANYTHING good comes from this surgery I'm getting a tummy tuck!! ha ha ha). Who knows though, I change my mind a lot. Official American Cancer Stat's say that I only have a 2% of getting cancer in my right breast.. so really.. I think I might keep her! But... I only had a 2% change of getting cancer in the first place. I am still praying!! Such a BIG decision to make.

Life is good, God is good, it's starting to warm up but of course, I live in MI it will get cold.. spring will not be here until May.

I'll post prob. 2 times a week now that I don't have internet at home, so keep checking!

Thanks for your love and prayers :) Shanda :)

Doing Well

I am doing well.. I have finished 5 of the 12 Taxol chemo's...I just wish I could have my surgery next week!!! It just seems so long away, and it looks like I am not going to be able to do much this summer, but we'll see!

I am tired, but no other side effects.. oh, I guess my mouth and tongue hurt a little but no sores or anything.

Not much to update.. thanks for praying!!

luv,

:) Shanda :)

Extreme Makeover Home Edititon

Extreme Makeover Home Edition... do you watch the show? It's on Sunday nights @ 8pm. ABC.
Well, I started watching it in the hospital. I have seen it before and always thought that it would be cool and amazing to be picked to recieve a "home makeover". What they do is AMAZING!! Well, like I said when I spent those 3 weeks in the hospital I really really thought that our family had a good shot at making it. So I started a few weeks ago to put things together to apply to be on the show!!! I am currently making our audition video and filling out the application process etc. Now.. what I ask of YOU is, if you feel so led, I am asking my friends and family to write a brief one page letter on how you know me, and why we deserve a home makeover. A little background on my house, it was originally built in 1929 and I need a new roof (it leaks in the kitchen, and my girls bedrooom) and I have a serious heating problem (most of the downstarirs is freezing because of the duct work and the fact that the furnace is upstairs). And my children would LOVE a basement!!!

You can e mail me a letter if you want to @ kkstt77@yahoo.com and I will send it after I apply. I can't apply until after my mastectomy surgery because you have to be ready to drop everything and leave on a 7 day vacation when the "crew" comes to give you the home makeover.

I think dreaming about this has really helped the children and I to cope and make it thorough some difficult times. I know that you can't dream bigger than God, and I hope and pray that he has a new home in our future through "Extreme Makeover Home Edition"!!

I'll keep you posted :) Blessings! :) Shanda :)

Hello

I will now be posting from my local library. I cancelled my home internet service and a few other bills due to the fact that I am not able to work. I may have surgery earlier rather than later so that is good (the faster I heal, the faster I can get back to work). Things are going well, I am enjoying the "tease" of Spring with the sunshine.. but it's still FREEZING outside :).

Well, I only get 1/2 hr. on the computer and my sessions going to end soon!

Blessings to you :) Shanda :)

03-16-07

Just wanted to let everyone know I am doing well! I have to cancel my home internet service (I'm trying to cut some monthly bills and my internet just jumped from $20 to $45 per month. I will be updating at least once a week at my local library!

Blessings to you all today :) Shanda :)

3-12-07

The weather was so wonderful yesterday!!! hopefully spring will be here soon :). My oncologist says to me the other day "your spring will be here soon". I thought that was sweet of him.

I'm preparing for surgery in 2-3 months. Research...research... research :)

God is good!!

Consider my affliction and please deliver me
Plead my cause and redeem me
Salvation is not for the wicked
For they don't seek your word
Great are your tender mercies
Lord Revive me, according to your loving kindness
Revive me, that I may seek your word
Revive me, according to your loving kindness Revive me, oh Lord
You give me understanding According to your word
Great peace for those who seek your face
I long for salvation My lips shall praise your name
I rejoice in the treasure of your keep
Revive me, according to your loving kindness Revive me, that I may seek your word Revive me, according to your loving kindess Revive me, oh Lord
For all my ways are before you I let your hand become my help
My soul longs and adores you Let my cry come before you oh Lord Revive me, according to your loving kindness Revive me, that I may seek your word Revive me, according to your loving kindnes Revive me, oh Lord Oh, Revive meRevive me

Jeremy Camp

T I R E D!!!

ok.. so doing well just V E R Y, VERY tired.. now I know why...
Basically I can't get out of bed or off the couch for very long.
My hemoglobin (red blood cells that are made by your bone marrow) is extremely low.
Today @ chemo they "offered" to give me blood transfusions (one to two units of blood). They said I had a choice... and if I could live with the tiredness, it would be ok for one more week, but if my numbers dip any lower they HAVE to give me transfusions next week. I got a shot called a "pro-crit" shot the last 2 chemo's to stimulate my bone marrow production of hemoglobin and sometimes it takes af few weeks to kick in. I declined blood transfusions this week.

Also, I have a rare blood type O negative so if any of you have O negative and are willing to give me your blood if I need it, let me know and I'll call and see how that would work. I don't know.. just the thought of getting a strangers BLOOD just freaks me out.. even more than the chemo. Prayerfully I will be fine next week, and I won't need any blood transfusions. But I am dealing with the following symptoms: breathlessness tiredness dizziness rapid, weak pulse or palpitations headaches.
Because hemoglobin carries OXYGEN.. I have been having the feeling of "not getting enough air in my lungs" and have woken up.. thinking I was going to die because I can't get enough O2 in.... Ovously if it continued I would call 911... thankfully it is very temporary and after taking a few deep breaths I am o.k.. but it's kinda freaky... lol..

God has just been so good, and he continues to care for the children and I.

Have a wonderful day, and thank you so much for your love, prayers and support! I'll continue to keep you updated.

Blessings! :) Shanda :)

My Jesus

Which Jesus do you follow?
Which Jesus do you serve?
If Ephesians says to imitate Christ
Why do you look so much like the world?
Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant
So which one do you want to be?
Blessed are the poor in spirit
Or do we pray to be blessed with the wealth of this land
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness
Do we ache for another taste of this world of shifting sand
Cause my Jesus bled and died for my sins
He spent His time with thieves and sluts and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the rich
So which one do you want to be?

Who is this that you follow?

This picture of the American dream
If Jesus was here would you walk right by on the other side or fall down and worship at

His holy feet!!!!

Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion
Is how you see Him as He dies for Your sins
But the Word says He was battered and scarred
Or did you miss that part

Sometimes I doubt we'd recognize Him

Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and the least of these
He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable
So which one do you want to be?
Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet would stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despised the proud
I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud
I want to be like my Jesus! I want to be like my Jesus!
Not a posterchild for American prosperity, but like my Jesus
You see I'm tired of living for success and popularity
I want to be like my Jesus but I'm not sure what that means to be like You Jesus
Cause You said to live like You, love like You but then You died for me
Can I be like You Jesus?
I want to be like my Jesus



By Todd Agnew

The only line I don't agree with is "he would not be accepted at my church".. I am blessed to be a part of a church who accepts all kinds of people.. John 3 & John 4 People :) :) :).

Why?

Why does God do what he does? Why does he allow "bad" people to be prosperous and "good" people to suffer? Why.. why.. why.. you could ask the questions all day long.

I really don't think a lot about "why" when I look at my life with cancer. I think "what". What is God going to do today? What is God going to teach me today? What is God going to show me today? And that is exactly what has happened. I found out I had cancer and I thought "OK.. I can do this... God, you are leading, I will follow".

He has lead me thorough some really amazing roads in the last 6 months. I have seen amazing things. I almost died, and he spared my life, he brought me home after I prayed and waited on him.

He always has a plan, and a purpose for everything under the sun. Thorough faith and belief we can see his very real hand in our lives EVERY day!!! Even if you aren't going through anything "scary" like cancer God can be real to you :).

God loves me, and for that I am so happy and thankful. My life is in his hands :)

Blessings :) Shanda :)

LIFE IS PRECIOUS!!!

Man... the headlines this week... a local MI man accused of killing his wife (Tara Lynn Grant). He reports her missing and they found her "torso" in the family garage and other body parts at a nearby park!!! Murdered, she leaves 2 small children, 4 and 2.

The tornados down south killing young high school students, and another tragedy on a small Ohio baseball's bus accident, more young people dead.

Death is a part of our every day life, and it makes living that much more amazing. Someone told me the other day that I was a survivor... I said "I'm not counting the days until I am free of this cancer" but she was right. We are all survivors!! People die each and every day in car accidents, crimes and other sad and horrific ways (and yes, cancer).

I am tired, not doing much, but I am at the most amazing place in the world.. home... with my children, listening to their laughter and playing with them when I can.

Life is short, enjoy every second!!!!!

YEAH!!

My tumor has shrunk!!! It's now 1.5cm.. last ultra sound was 2.6cm!!! Chemo is going well. More later :)