Enjoying Health!!!!

I have been enjoying my health latley :). I was able to care for one of my best friends 2 small children over the weekend while she went on a retreat (6 mos. and 2.5). They tired me out! But it was a blast to have a baby in the house again. I just want to convey how A L I V E and happy I feel right now. I am SO incredibly blessed, and loved by Christ. He has provided for all of our needs, and it's just so exciting!! I got a second opinion @ U of M on Friday.. and I will be going ahead with the radiation, which is every day M-F for 6 weeks... then I will be going back to school part time to re-obtain my EMT liscense this Sept. so I then can take the Paramedic classes next fall, and hopefully Nursing when my children are teenagers (we'll see) :).

And I think we might start fund raising for our Peru missions trip. We had planned on going in 2008, but due to the cancer I think we will be aiming for 2009, 2010! We have an oppertunity to go for 6 months as a family, how exciting!! It's exciting to see all the doors the Lord is opening for me to serve and to love others!!

If you look closly... you can see that my re-construction is going well (LOL). Although the girls are sitting pretty high right now, they will be like that until I have my implant surgery next fall. I am enjoying the freedom of not having to wear a bra WOO HOO!! I guess their are some benefit's to having cancer...lol.. Well I'm off for today, I'm in the middle of making waffles for my children who must eat every hour it seems ha ha ha.. I'm going to do my 3 mile walking DVD and then take the children on a bike ride up to the library! I still have about 30lbs. that I need to shed, so I am trying to work out as much as I can, but I am very realistic. Small changes will add up in the long term. The number one reason for long term survival after having cancer is being at a helthy weight and eating/exercising well :)!!

Blessings to you today :) Shanda :)

Cry Out To Jesus

I love music. I spent almost all day yesterday "ripping and burning" CD's. I downloaded pretty much every CD I own onto my computer, and I found this song. It really spoke to my heart, I hope it speaks to yours: Blessings! :) Shanda :)

To everyone who's lost someone they love

Long before it was their time

You feel like the days you had were not enough when you said goodbye

And to all of the people with burdens and pains

Keeping you back from your life

You believe that there's nothing and there is no one Who can make it right

There is hope for the helpless

Rest for the weary

Love for the broken heart

There is grace and forgiveness

Mercy and healing

He'll meet you wherever you are

Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on

They lost all of their faith in love

They've done all they can to make it right again

Still it's not enough

For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains

You try to give up but you come back again

Just remember that you're not alone in your shame

And your suffering

When your lonely And it feels like the whole world is falling on you

You just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus Cry to Jesus

To the widow who struggles with being alone

Wiping the tears from her eyes

For the children around the world without a home Say a prayer tonight

Cry Out to Jesus by Third Day

God

My pastor started a new series of sermons last week about some pretty awesome things. He is preaching on things that as a Christian we should have "nailed down" in our lives, or when life gets crazy and the water tries to tip your boat over so to speak, if you have those things nailed down then you will be ok... but if you don't then your gonna sink.

I always feel weird at the end of our church services, they always do an invitation for people who want to get saved, or rededicate their lives, or just "come and meet with God". I have been to the alter a few times in my life, but not many, as I only go when God really speaks to my heart about something and he urges me to go to the alter.

I was talking to my little sister the other day about how I don't think I have changed that much in the last year, meaning that this whole having cancer thing has not really changed who I am. I had a good/close relationship with my Lord before I was diganosed with cancer, if anything this year has solidified our relationship and I have also been able to see his hand active in my life, my healing and giving me life after cancer. I also have come to the fact that I am not afraid to die. I was before, I just did not want to die before my children are raised. Of course I want to live a long healthy life and see grandchildren and great grandchildren, but thoughout all of this, I am not afraid to die. All this cancer stuff has shown me just how fragile and precious and BRIEF life is, and we need to take ahold of it, live it, share Christ with others who don't know him, and do our VERY best to bring honor and glory to his name. There is this saying I'll never forget "you are the Bible some people will ever read" meaning that it's how we live and act in life on a day to day basis that should reflect Christ like a mirror. Of course we fail, but we just need to keep gettting up and trying, never giving up on doing whatever it is Christ has you doing. This life is so brief and so temporary, heaven and eternity is what we should be focused on, not this planet, this earth, it will all soon pass away.

I don't know when I'll die, I hope when I am 99 in my sleep, but whenever that day comes I hope that the people who come to the funeral, who weep because I am gone from this earth, I hope that they can honestly say that they saw Jesus in me, because without him I am nothing, with him I am everything I have ever wanted to be! He was 33 when he died, I was 33 when I was diganosed with cancer. He loved children, I would love 4 more (yes.. I am crazy). He loved his father and obeyed him. It's taken me a long time and a lot of hard lessons, but I do my best to be a faithful obedient daughter every day of my life.

God will never stop being good to those who love him, those who honor him with their lives, there is much that we don't understand, but when you understand who Jesus Christ is, and what he's done for you, you'll never be able to be "good enough" or "do enough" to earn his love and mercy. And that is what's crazy, he offers it.. all of it free for the taking, and believe me, I've taken many doses of love, mercy, peace and love from him and his people this last year. He is a good God, he is a faithful God, and I am just head over heals in love with him!

I hope you are having a GREAT night/day!

Blessings to you :) Shanda :)

My baby :)

My baby kitty.... whom I have had for almost 14 years!! He sleeps with me every night, and all the nights I was in the hospital he would cry... yes....cry. He's such a sweetie peetie :) :). Animals are such a blessing. Thank you Lord for my Socks!!!!

Death

DEATH~
WHAT A WONDERFUL WAY TO EXPLAIN IT !!!!!
A sick man turned to his doctor, as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die.
Tell me what lies on the other side."
Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."
"You don't know?
You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?"
The doctor was holding the handle of the door;
on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining,
and as he opened the door,
a dog sprang into the room

and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.
Turning to the patient, the doctor said,

"Did you notice my dog?

He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside.
He knew nothing except that his master was here,
and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear.

I know little of what is on the other side of death,
but I do know one thing...
I know my Master is there and that is enough."

Being Still

Be still, my soul, The Lord is on your side.

Bare patiently, the cross of grief or pain,

Leave too your God, to order and provide.

In every change He faithful will remain,

Be still, my soul, Your best your hevenly friend,

Through thorny waves leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul, Your God will under take.

To guide the future as he has the past

Your hope your confidence let nothing shake

Or now misterious shall be bright at last

Be still, my soul,

The waves and winds still know His voice who ruled them

While he lived below

Be still, my soul,

Be still, my soul, Be still.

Be still, my soul by Ginny Owens

A new look :)

A million miles away from anything familiar a thousand places that I'd rather be

So I choke back the tears and try to find the bright side

Though I find it hard to see though all my suffering

In my heart I know your plan is so much bigger but this small part is all that I can see and I beleive you havn't left me here to wander

Still I can't help but ponder where you're leading me
(chorus) and I ask why this road why this way and this load

Tell me how far must I go til I see ...til I know why this road

A million miles away from anything familiar what was it like to be so far from home though you came in love the world misunderstood you there must have been some days when you felt so alone

But you endured, because ther was joy before you joy that came because you sacrificed

Since you gave yourself just to spend forever with me surely I can trust you'll lead me through my darkest times when I ask why....

(chorus) From here I can't see why you'd choose this path for me but I don't have to understand to beleive that you know why, this road why this way and this load you know how far I must go tile I see til I know why this road

(This Road by Ginny Owens)

I have always prided myself on my long thick beautiful hair.... in little women when Jo's cuts her hair off for $$$$ to help her mother go see thier sick father, her little sister says "Jo, your one beauty". Sometimes I have felt that way, my hair had made me feel beautiful. But I have learned that losing hair is much better in the long run than losing your life. I don't understand why the Lord would have me step through each day this last year, why I have to have this short hair, the scars, the pain, the needles, the vomiting, the fatigue, the suffering. My children don't understand and sometimes I don't either. What I do understand is I have a God who cares about me and loves me more than I can even dream, and he has a future for me that is amazing!! My life means more now than it ever has, and every day is a precious gift from my heavenly father. I love you Lord Jesus, God, my provider, my hope and my life!!!

Team Yenglin!!!

Time to do the dishes :) :). I am a blessed mother... my children actually fight to clean the house/scrub the tub or toliet and do dishes. So everyone is involved during dish time. Yes, I have a dishwasher, but I don't wash anything plastic, or any of my pans just plates, silverware and that kind of stuff. After dishes I think we're going to watch a movie.. Shaggy Dog. I cancelled the cable this week, my mom accidently mowed over the cable while mowing the lawn and I figure it's summertime anyway, who needs to waste any money on cable, I'd rather spend it on air conditioning :). Our new fun thing to do is to go to the local spray park, which I think we have been to everyday this week. I'll post some pictures of our next adventure to try to cool off from this hot weather.

Cancer women (me) seems to be getting a much needed break from treatment. I have been working on my tan, and spending lots of time with my children :). Rumor has it when I start radiation I have to stay out of the sun??? Not sure if that's true or not, I am sure my Dr. will tell me. With radiation right around the corner, I am making the most of my energy and my freedome from being "cancer patient" God is Good!!! All the time :).

I hope your having a wonderful day/night and thanks for checking up on our family.

Blessings!! :) Shanda :)

Prayer

Dear Lord, I thank You for this day.
I thank You for my being able to see and to hear this morning. I'm blessed because You are a forgiving God and an understanding God. You have done so much for me and You keep on blessing me. Forgive me this day for everything I have done, said or thought that was not pleasing to you. I ask now for Your forgiveness. Please keep me safe from all danger and harm. Help me to start this day with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude. Let me make the best of each and every day to clear my mind so that I can hear from You. Let me not whine and whimper over things I have no control over. I know that when I can't pray, You listen to my heart. Continue to use me to do Your will. Continue to bless me that I may be a blessing to others. Keep me strong that I may help the weak... Keep me uplifted that I may have words of encouragement for others.
I pray for those that are lost and can't find their way. I pray for those that are misjudged and misunderstood. I pray for those who don't know You intimately. I pray for those that don't believe. But I thank you that I believe. I believe that God changes people and God changes things. I pray for all my sisters and brothers. For each and every family member in their households. I pray for peace, love and joy in their homes that they are out of debt and all their needs are met. I pray that every eye that reads this knows there is no problem, circumstance, or situation greater than God. Every battle is in Your hands for You to fight. I pray that these words be received into the hearts of every eye that sees it.
AMEN!!!

Summer Fun :)

Summer fun... no words needed in this entry, God's goodness just radiates from my 4 amazing children!!

Have a Blessed day today

:) Shanda :)