God

My pastor started a new series of sermons last week about some pretty awesome things. He is preaching on things that as a Christian we should have "nailed down" in our lives, or when life gets crazy and the water tries to tip your boat over so to speak, if you have those things nailed down then you will be ok... but if you don't then your gonna sink.

I always feel weird at the end of our church services, they always do an invitation for people who want to get saved, or rededicate their lives, or just "come and meet with God". I have been to the alter a few times in my life, but not many, as I only go when God really speaks to my heart about something and he urges me to go to the alter.

I was talking to my little sister the other day about how I don't think I have changed that much in the last year, meaning that this whole having cancer thing has not really changed who I am. I had a good/close relationship with my Lord before I was diganosed with cancer, if anything this year has solidified our relationship and I have also been able to see his hand active in my life, my healing and giving me life after cancer. I also have come to the fact that I am not afraid to die. I was before, I just did not want to die before my children are raised. Of course I want to live a long healthy life and see grandchildren and great grandchildren, but thoughout all of this, I am not afraid to die. All this cancer stuff has shown me just how fragile and precious and BRIEF life is, and we need to take ahold of it, live it, share Christ with others who don't know him, and do our VERY best to bring honor and glory to his name. There is this saying I'll never forget "you are the Bible some people will ever read" meaning that it's how we live and act in life on a day to day basis that should reflect Christ like a mirror. Of course we fail, but we just need to keep gettting up and trying, never giving up on doing whatever it is Christ has you doing. This life is so brief and so temporary, heaven and eternity is what we should be focused on, not this planet, this earth, it will all soon pass away.

I don't know when I'll die, I hope when I am 99 in my sleep, but whenever that day comes I hope that the people who come to the funeral, who weep because I am gone from this earth, I hope that they can honestly say that they saw Jesus in me, because without him I am nothing, with him I am everything I have ever wanted to be! He was 33 when he died, I was 33 when I was diganosed with cancer. He loved children, I would love 4 more (yes.. I am crazy). He loved his father and obeyed him. It's taken me a long time and a lot of hard lessons, but I do my best to be a faithful obedient daughter every day of my life.

God will never stop being good to those who love him, those who honor him with their lives, there is much that we don't understand, but when you understand who Jesus Christ is, and what he's done for you, you'll never be able to be "good enough" or "do enough" to earn his love and mercy. And that is what's crazy, he offers it.. all of it free for the taking, and believe me, I've taken many doses of love, mercy, peace and love from him and his people this last year. He is a good God, he is a faithful God, and I am just head over heals in love with him!

I hope you are having a GREAT night/day!

Blessings to you :) Shanda :)